Thoughts are Like Brambles
Today is a nice warm sunny day here in Scotland, the breeze is a tad chill still, but hey the sun is out and shining, a good day to get out into the graden.  I take myself to the overgrown patch of brambles that I do once a year, that is away up the back of the garden.  I leave this part of the garden wildish.  As I am being snagged and snared with the brambles, I think to myself how like thoughts brambles realy are.  Some we are able to pass by relatively easily, they come they go, they get recycled no bother.  Whilst others are running along just below the surface of the earth, like our nerves, and about every 20 inches there is new growth from this runner, still hidden below the surface, but the green sprouts are aiming for the sky.  As I was mulling over this thinking my granddaughter who is nearly 10 joined me to help, and I was explaining to her the metaphorical meaning of using the brambles as thoughts for our worries and woes.   Saying to her this is why we need to keep a rein on our thinking so it does not run wild and free and become the overgrown jungle like the back garden.  We moved to remove the old brown brambles from the Pine tree, and they snagged and pulled my hair, then caught the other brambles that I had already pulled out and placed into the box ready to be composted, they tangled themselves in hooking on tight as can be, as I walked along these brambles pulled open my skin, stuck the thorns in and then dragged along the hooked ones from the box.  As we are still in explaining the metaphorical sense of inner gardening for our thoughts, my grandchild wisley asks me how can you stop this from happening.  Now that is a very excellent question, as for anyone who does gardening and knows the work of removing brambles.  Thinking about this as our thoughts is a task indeed.  So I showed her that some came away easily indeed, these are the fleeting thoughts we don't hold onto.  Then showed her the old brown dead brambles up the Pine tree, still there holding on but long died.  These thoughts are finished with and just need clearing away.  The roots of the runners below the ground, hidden and sneaking along with the fresh new shoots are the thoughts that are running away with us, be they fears, this is the fears we will see grow, unless we halt them in their tracks and pull them out.  "How do we do that?" She asks.  We change our way of thinking, so when we feel afraid we take a step back and ask ourselves what are we really afraid of, why are we afraid?  Feel it deep within us, is a right fear?  Or a not right fear?  Fear is with us  to help in correct circumstances and helps us remove ourselves from danger, like the snagging of the brambles.  A not right fear like a paranoia that for example no one likes me, is untrue, not everyone can ever like everyone else, and the same not everyone can dislike everyone, there is always someone they like. Yet we can choose to engage with some people and choose to aviod others.  So as we grow in awareness keep a check on our thoughts, of fear and anger and paranoia, and yes even to being too positive as that can also be like a bramble, our thoughts are real alive and growing, depends how you nurture and nourish them and what you want to grow.  A little internal gardening is as helpful as a little external gardening. With our thoughts we create our future.  Perhaps a little journey here to see what inner work we need to do,.
Thoughts are like Brambles.
Thoughts are like brambles,
snagging and snarling, 
some brambles coming away easy and free,
some brambles digging themselves in
stubborn as can be.
Thoughts are like brambles,
some fresh and green,
drifting on by,
easy to be seen.
Thoughts are like brambles, 
some old and withered, brown and died
yet still there keeping us tied.
Thoughts are like brambles,
some sneaky and deep, 
churning in our minds, 
depriving us of sleep.
Thoughts are like brambles,
aiming for the sky,
all the while, 
keeping us caged in an internal lie.
Thoughts are like brambles, 
when cherished and tamed,
bears the fruit,
of our intentions named.
Thank you for reading, please do respect  my work it is written by me, acredited please accordingly. 

Here is a link to some of the amazing work Bhola does, please enjoy the viewing.  Having worked now since 2015 with Bhola and been to Nepal twice on his sacred shamanic pilgrimages, and just about to hold his second event here in Scotland, I can honestly say I have been waiting to meet an teacher of such depth and integrity. 

Here is a link to his Sacred Shamanic pilgramages and other workshop/courses he holds, along with his wife Mimi at times as well.  You would not be disappointed in going.


The Day I Met Callieach / Baba Yaga.

Much is spoken off in our  Celtic heritage and culture of The Callieach, the ancient divine hag being, the veiled one,  the Queen of the winter months, who comes to help us rest and restore ourselves in the most simple of terms I loosely say this, with absolutely no offence being meant. It would not be a good idea to offend Callieach.

This was just after my 1st trip to Nepal for a sacred spiritual pilgramage with my shamanic teacher/experience sharer, guide and Dad, (thats another story for my long awaited book). To accept the long awaited healings I so badly needed with all the many shamans we visited as a group.

I came home and was feeling all clean and shiny pure and with vibrant health, and not really wanting to mix my sacred clean being with the joe public of unawareness. I was also feeling very disconnected with my guides, I had had a new power animal appear to me whilst in Nepal the beautiful gentle graceful energy of Reindeer, complete with antlers. So in order to re-connect I decided to go and sit in circle with fellow shamanic practitioners, I decided on doing the beautiful course I love so much Death and Dying and the role of the Psychopomp; for a few days through in Glasgow with a fello shamanic practitioner and shamanic teacher also trained and apporved by Sandra Ingeman like myself. So I duly state my intention same as everyone else does in the circle, my intention to reconnect with my guides and work with the new power animal of Reindeer. Everytime I thought of Reindeer I could feel my face changing and antlers growing out the top of my head, a huge halo light around them and I could feel the cold crisp winter air, and when journeying seeing an Eskimo woman in a blue coloured dress. I was confused as the Reindeer was defianetly female I know she is female, yet she has antlers confused and not trusting myself. It was a felo shamanic participant who clarified this for me saying the female reindeer has antlers, ( so those who pull santas sleigh are female, a story for the kids come xmas). Intentions falling into place nicely and quickly manifested, as I absorb this information, blessed to trust my knowing and doubly blessed to have it voiced.

The workshop carried on as it was planned and I think it was day 2 and we were asked to connect to our guides and today we would be working with The Callieach, ok only if we are really wanting too. I'm not overly confident here as she isn't familiar to me and most certainly not one of my guides, so I opt out and choose my every familiar energy of St Francis to be connecting with, so there we all are in circle drumming away, embracing our guides waiting to see who will be the next Callieach in the circle of people. I continue to allow St Francis' energy to flow through me, when I notice the monks clothing is a little scratchy on my left leg, i lower my hand and scratch, when I re-focus I seem to be in a circle of Buffalo hide clad women myself included, little odd that I think, I'm not overly connected to Native American Medicne peoples, its beautiful and I enjoy it immensely for the a wee whilely, before I again notice my left leg is itchy, back to scratching and thinking my psorasis is well playing up today, yet wait a minute i don't have psorasis there, not even a small patch, let alone the huge 20 inch patch that is itching. Bloody chicken mites I grumble to myself. What I think to myself, I don't have chickens. Most cetainly do not have chicken mites on my leg, on a patch of psorasis that doesn't exist. The next thing I know my hand that is scratching my leg, is shrinking up as is my left leg, my foot turns into a claw, dare I even think like a chickens foot, my left eye, opens abruptly at the same time my right eye squeezes shut. "We have a new Callieach." I hear the course facilatator say. Oh good god No. Hahaha, you have to laugh, I was totally hoodwinked here.  Limping along scratching my leg, I'm sure my normally dark hair with grey granny streaks is now fully grey.

So up Callieach steps within my body, chuckling and cackling all the way at indeed how wise she is. And takes centre stage as she continues to laugh, "Little girly didn't think she was letting me in did she?" Hahahaha "Little did girly know" she laughs a tad maniaclly at the circle of people. I am stunned silent, that takes a lot for me, I can yap indefinatley as those who know me know.  She refers to me as 'girly' through out the ceremony.

I am Callieach and she is me, we blend as one, although we are also seperate, she continues to hoot and crackle at my expense via my own mouth using my own voice to do so. Her energy and power is amazing as she invites a group participant to step forward and have a healing ceremony with her. The occasional scratch of the left leg, along with the no nonsense detemination to do the cermony, in her own cackling way.  'Girly'  here allowing the work of depth to be done.  Callieach is sending the lost stuck ancestors to the realm of those who have already died.  Healing the hurts and wounds within. Giving herbal advice which is hopefully helpful.  Stirring the cauldron on the fire outside her wooden hut in the ancient woods. 

As the ceremony ended she takes her leave of my body and away she goes chuckling humourously no doubt still at my naive expense. I come back to my self, feel my eyes return to a shocked and suprised look , my withered leg and arm return to normal and no more itchy red patch. She has departed, for now. My long hair no longer white resuming its original very dark brown. I now laugh almost as manically as she as I say " I wasn't expecting that, she totally conned me." In my own voice, stretching out my own arms and legs very amused and amazed and in awe. I have heard of Callieach often, and now I have experienced her incredible energy. She is now one of my guides, so if you ever come along for a healing session and I start cackling and the likes you know who has appeared, you are in the presence os the Divine Deity, Wise Woman Callieach. I have also her sister Aine or perhaps her in another aspect as one of my guides. Thank you for reading. Please do not copy this without my permission as it is for my book and about my personal experience. I thank you kindly.  The image is of a stone that I painted for a friends wedding gift, please do not use the picture.  As I finish writing and add to my bluebird-dreamweaver facebook page I hear her whisperings as she stirs within and calls me to visit her special places in Scotland.  I will visit her stones very soon.  We were graced that day each of us in our own unique way with a blessing from Callieach of which I give much humble and heart felt thanks. 



A Depossession Update. 2018.  
About 3 years ago I wrote about spirit possession, and the work of compassionate depossession I had trained inrecently (  My guides in truth soon took over and pointed me the way that they wanted me to go with the depossession work and it became Sacred Spirit Transition. Much of what I learned about compassionate depossession was changed by my guides and I was given other methods of psychopomp and deposession; different ways of helping our loved ones and other earthbound spirits carry on with their souls journey by making the transition from this life to the next, instead of getting stuck here on earth and becoming earthbound.  Well not long after I wrote the article I became ill, it gradually got worse and worse.  I had low energy, was drained, exhausted and in much inflammation pain, along with constant nausea and on the verge of having a migrane.  I had the checks and bloods and liver and kidney checks at the Drs along with the peri-menopauseal checks, all clear on everything, even on low iron. I was convinced I had low iron! Over the months it got so bad I couldn't get out of my bed I was so tired, a 20 minute walk was like a half marathon run. So after 2 and a half years of this I had had enough, the confusion was immense going into shops and not knowing what simple items like marg, milk and cat food were.  I have had my cat a long time shes 14 now so I should know what a cat is.  I didn't even understand my name!  Anyway I would stare blankly at items on my shopping list, go blank at times and then numb out, I couldn't feel my body. It was as thogh I wasn't here at all.  All very odd and indeed not normal very far from being normal and ok, yet nothing back from the Drs, all tests normal, whatever that may be or mean. What is noramal anyway?! So last New Year I had had enough of being bed ridden exhausted and unwell, and not knowing who I was I decided to contact my now Nepalese Shamanic teacher Bhola and ask him if he had space on his trip in Nepal in september 2017.  Thank-fully he had space left and I booked on to the spiritual trip he does anually where we meet with local Shamans.  From January to September was a huge struggle I was still spending much time in bed sleeping or going out and being confused, drained and blanking out.  Thankfully someone else decided to go on the spiritual trip too and we went together, no getting lost on route for me.  Whilst visting local Shamans and being witness to the long preparation of the ceremony and then being asked to go up to the shamans one at a time, we were told what we needed to know, and I was shocked at what I needed to know was that I had a spirit attachment of a rather unplesant kind, well WTF, wow that was very interesting I was thinking I had seen it a few times, and then the subtle underming of the self confidence, the draining of energy, confusion, all of it.  I was so happy to be told it would be gone that evening.  Back to normallity.
In truth anything but back to normallity, I spend the next year wondering about my whole shamanic journey, wondering and questioning about my life, where was I going, what was I doing, what did I believe in.  Everything was gone and I was even more confused than ever, although I was confused about my life path I could shop and did know who I was and who my cat was, no longer tired and drained of energy, in fact very bright and with it, I felt totally clean and free.  Witha huge amount of questions.
I came to the understanding through the year that often the beings we think are psychically attacking us are us ourselves.  With our own thoughts, deeds and words we create our reality and we attack ourselves.  This is of course not always the case, but it is the case none the less, we can stop much of whats happening by looking at how we speak to ourself.  We can do the required work we are given by shamans and shamanic practitioners, no-one has a magic wand to wave over us to make it stop permanently, and if we don't change ourselves somewhere it will keep happening to us, either from ourself or from the many other beings who are earthbound or from elsewhere.  We can give time and patience to ourself and determination to keep doing what stops it happening. With compassion and respect for who we are. I can say I am now free of the night attacks, the voices, the anger, the depression and confusion caused by this other being, or was it myself?! I can also say I have a much better understanding of myself and where I have invited this energy to me, in a blind rage of an arguement.  This being the way I myself invited it in, like energy goes with like energies.  When we are full of vital life force energy and are vibrant we don't have earthbound entities sticking in our energy fields, disrupting us confusing us and the like.  Power retieval and Soul retrieval are always helpful to us with this work as is extraction to remove blocks, illness, and thought patterns that create the invites for spirit attachment and possession.  Much of the daily work I do now has lifted me out of doom gloom and self hatred, and lack of self worth many many of us have.  It can take time and does take work on each of our own parts, I can't say that what works for me works for someone else but we can explore what works for each of us.  Having the added bonus of Bhola my Nepalese Shamanic Teacher has definately helped me to work through the attachment, then I have my spirit guides and gardians and the powerful understanding of how the earthbound got attached in the first place.  So its a little like start loving, or at least liking and definately respecting yourself and it will stop happening, with work of a dedicated nature.  As always i may well be updating this again in a few years with more understanding as life progresses, I may well even update and say i believe something totally different as we continue to grow to being our wonderful beautiful selves.  Thank you for reading, many kind regards.
So here I am a long waiting blog in the making, so my long term chronic fatigue or whatever the hell I have, still no diagnosis from the Drs, 8 or so blood tests later and 4 years pondering: meanwhile I have spent 2 of those years exhausted and bearly functioning.  Thankful my visits with the Nepalese Shamans last year started my recovery.  This year a deeper recovery is what I'm aiming for, to be able to participate and enjoy life, with vibrant energy; this has been my intention.  To remove the auto immune stuff, stuff I say not lightly either, hahaha, chronic arthritis, chronic psorasis that creates the psoratic arthritis, hepatitis and plantar fascititis, all this inflamation is seriously dodgy I have just read in a chinese tonic book.  So since coming back from Nepal I have been down and mildly depressed, perhaps the age is the reason after all the proverbial 50 looming around the corner, I despair gloomly to myself, so another 30 years of this, chuck in the 15 hot flashes every night and in a nutshell, that is not golden and rosy for sure this is my day to day routine.  Come along buck yourself up me dear attitude of myself is not helping, as many people who have these conditions will redily understand what I mean.  Buck myself up is indeed what I need, wondering what herbs I can take that I have available.  ( I studied herbalism and have a huge love of and respect for our beautiful plants)  In the back of the cupboard on the top shelf as always being 4 foot and a few tatties dragging a chair along with me is the norm to reach my cupboards.  That ahhhhh thank the lord moment when shining like lost gold the tincture bottle of St Johns wort is still there and in date.  I scan through some more of my herbal books and the page accidentaly??!! falls open on the Jet Lag section, so with interest I read all about the jet lag, much more than just adjusting to the time difference again as i originally thought.  Well there you have it, depression, exhaustion, headache, apathy.  As I duly self medicate and book another GP appointment to sort out the rest of my ailments; shutting my eyes with a grimace and a sneer of dislike I take a deep breath, I really do not like DR's waiting rooms.  As I breath back out, i am fully aware that we are seriously in an age where we are going to have to take full responsibility for our health.  The NHS is crumbling, being sold off out the back door to private so called health companies, who in my humble opinion; agree with the conspiracy theories it has little to do with health and a lot to do with pounds, shillings and pence, add to the mix the dollars.  Now that is cynical and for a spiritual person too, lordy, quickly in with the love and light.
So with our health where it is, and mine where it is, I really do believe I now have to fully accept the responsibility for what I put in my mouth ( and what comes out of it wink wink hahaha! For those who do not know me I can be a little too honest!)  Am I nourishing my body, mind, spirit, and soul with my foods?  Am I overworking, people pleasing and again depleting my own health by doing so.  This has been my pattern of self abuse, along with the drink of 14 years ago, the drugs of 27 years ago and the smoking of 6 years ago. We are more than encourged to put everyone else first in the Western world, maybe that should be second to the chronic materialism we are surrounded by. A few shamanic soul or and power retrievals needed to fill that vast empty hole we cram with materalistic stuff.  Or and extraction or so to remove that habit of hoarding that stuff. We deplete our inner light our vital life force each time we overwork and undernourish ourselves. Once we know this we can change it.
So from my amazing shamanic spiritual trip in Nepal I have the ever welcome advice from the Shamans to embrace and have a fair few rituals I have to do to encourage vibrant radient health, to remove the planetary obstacles and to bring back into balance my emotions.  Simple rituals do not mean ineffective, they are deep and profound and I am truly grateful for the information, from the young shaman who embodied Kali, along with Ama one of the 13 indigenous gramdmothers, and as ever my teacher and mentor Bhola  Banstola.  He is here in Scotland in June for further details look at the website page workshops.  I have taken my time to slowly recover my spirits as it is long term and as always with shamanic advice many layered and we have to be active in our own healing, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
I had such an amazing experience up in the village of Nagacot doing heartfelt releasing cermonies beside the river, and then inviting in the new.  The air was fresh and pure the water chill and refreshing on my bare feet.  The walk back up through the pine woods was rejuvinating, I even managed to spy a tiny little flyagaric mushroon hidden in a tiny little fairy cave.  I was taking my time as it was steep and my feet suprisingly were very good in Nepal. ( Now why is that I could walk lots in Nepal without the plantar facsititis hurting? ).  One of the big excitement about the village for us western tourists, was the fact that a tiger had walked through the village a week before we were there.  How astonishing, you kind of want to see the tiger, but then again not really be too close.  Again this year watching the local Shamans prepare was fantastic, each of the shamans have a day job as is the norm too, a chef, a taxi driver and an antiques dealer, as ever important to have our days job too.
Sadly I could not come to grips with my phone camera so am awaiting photos i can share from others.  I stayed away from Facebook emails and computers all the trip to imerse myself fully into the experience.  From the first day I was bitten on my big toe and it itched and itched and itched, then it swelled up and itched some more.  Thankfully the first Shaman visit was a few days later, Bhola duly explained about the bite to the Shaman and showed my psorasis and I had the itch removed, amazing no more anti-hystamines that were not really working and better still no more scratching.  The next night I was again bitten. WTF, seriously.  Again the itching and swelling, on and on.  Things only got worse from there my bites were swelling to the size of about 8 inches across.  Then I had tiny little bumps, I was dutifully showing my bites to Bhola who when we got to the Shaman who embodied Kali he showed my bites again.  By the time we got to Ama, one of the 13 indigenous grandmothers, Bhola said to me its ok I will tell her what you need, hahahaha.  He took charge like a dad much to everyones amusement, as they had got to ask their own questions.  Later on he told me that the itching was coming from inside, stuff being released via my skin as well as the bites.  May I have the grace to release my irritations freely.  Since I have been home no more itches, the oil and shiva ash given me and empowered by Ama no doubt sorted that out.  A blessed relief for sure.  Now for the chronic inflammation to be steadily and slowly sorted out, and for a new tip top working immune system.  A good lesson for us all when dealing with many different health issues to take what is the most important and start there. I leave you with this beautiful quote about the heart.
" The Heart is the Supreme Master of the organs and is the home of the Spirit.  If the Master is brilliant, his subjects are peaceful.  If the Master is disturbed his twelve officials (the bodies organs) are endangered."


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